Casablanca

Everyone says it’s a classic. It’s got Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in it, after all. But god, Casablanca is a dreary and soppy affair. What do we think will happen once Ilsa Lund enters the scene with her husband looking for kind papers that Rick Blaine came into possession just moments earlier? Surely, Blaine isn’t gonna flog them off to the highest bidder.